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The Total Woman, by Marabel Morgan
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The Total Woman
- Sales Rank: #226861 in Books
- Brand: F. H. Revell
- Published on: 1973
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Hardcover
- 192 pages
- Great product!
Most helpful customer reviews
31 of 38 people found the following review helpful.
What's wrong with the art of homemaking and being a loving wife?
By www.stepfordwife.com
Marabel Morgan wrote this advice book in 1972, around the time when one wave of the women's movement was cresting. There's a light smattering of quotes from biblical scripture, then it goes on to four parts. Organization Woman (Part I) takes the Charles M Schwab's $25,000 plan (prioritize your tasks) and lays out a plan for any women to get things done on time. Man Alive (Part II) looks at the delicate male ego and what a wife can do to restore it. Sex 201 (Part III) is about keeping the spice alive. Building Bridges (Part IV) shows how interaction within the family unit can influence children.
Books like this will always garner the venom and knee-jerk reactions from a particular segment of women. Even before they read the book, these same people will drag out economic inequality, oppression of women as homemakers, doormat policies all leading inevitably up to domestic violence. NOWHERE in this book does the author promote ANY of these ideas. What the book does do is to advise women who have ended up - either by choice or by circumstances - in the home on how to make the best of it. To excel in homemaking; to provide a nice place to return to; to look after and support your husband; to realize that in marriage, giving in is as important as taking; to show love to your children. Is all this really that bad?
Sure, there's the danger of the marriage going south and a wife ending up in the shoes of Terry Hekker. But that's a danger in any marriage. So why not start making lemonade?
I'm willing to bet that if the roles were reversed and all the advice was written for husbands...and the wife became the recipient of the attentive husband, this book would immediately be hailed as a must-read for all men.
Any advice book should be approached the way we treat high fashion: Take what you can use, water it down a little, and keep the rest in the back of the closet. No one can be expected to walk around in Saran Wrap to keep the hubby sexually enchanted, but rotating sexual turn-ons and outfits to keep the spark alive is a definite keeper.
I know this book experienced some raised eyebrows from the religious community when it came out, particularly the chapters concerning sex. Because we women having forgotten how to blush, we've had to rely on some unsubstantiated myth to hold on to our men. Miss Morgan shows that we need to put solid hard work into it. A marriage can stay together on conceptual ties like mutual respect, joint returns, and prenups, but heavens how boring it would all be! Still you could apply all that in addition to the advice given in this book. I would think any woman would want to have all the tools at her disposal.
Like Helen Andelin's book Fascinating Womanhood, the focus on men's fragile ego is a priceless piece of advice. I want to say if one were a fly-on-the-wall in a room where men are talking alone... but then I remembered, men rarely talk about their feelings. But compliment and admire any man, and you immediately see the gratitude in their eyes.
In this day and age when so many of us are complaining about how men are no longer men....Miss Morgan gives you the keys here. If men are no longer men, it's because WE are no longer women.
41 of 56 people found the following review helpful.
If You Can't Do It All, Start With Trying a Few
By K Harrison
Marabel Morgan's advice was like a breath of fresh air. Feeling completely suffocated by a new marriage, a new baby, and no living mother to draw advice from, I needed to hear the message of this book. It doesn't advise women to be doormats. In fact, one of the most impowering section of the book spoke of being as organized as a multi-million dollar company. Stay-at-home moms and wives have tremendous responsibilties that often our society ignores. Accountant, housekeeper, cook, childcare worker, errand runner...a complete balancing act. And yes, your husband does want to come home to a loving wife and a sexy partner. Okay, you don't have to be a greeting Playboy bunny at the door and the Bible does not promote breast augmentation, but the idea of pleasing your mate is a privilage. Because you're organized and stay at home during the day to take care of business there, your family will have time in the evening to bond. Skip the idea of manipulating. Mrs. Morgan doesn't teach that. She simply shares that you will reap benefits naturally because you're more pleasant to live with. Read the book. I loved its basic principles.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A LOTTA GOOD STUFF HERE, BUT...
By Carol Mayer
Forty-years ago, I was given this book by my fiancé. He was using Marabel Morgan as a spokesperson for him and for what he expected in a wife. Since I had a Cinderella Complex already--waiting to be rescued by Prince Charming--I didn't object to the basic theme of her book: submit, serve, obey, and lots of sex...at first. But as time went on, he became his own spokesperson. We weren't even married yet, and I was not even coming close to meeting his expectations. I tried but I failed and the engagement ended.
I just reread The Total Woman. I wasn't that far along into the book before I wanted to throw it out the window, take it out back and burn it, stomp on it...anything to vent my anger. But, instead I kept reading, and then I realized something. The inspiration, motivation, and passion behind this book was for a good reason: helping couples save their marriages. With biblical direction and Christian values, Ms. Morgan wrote a comprehensive how-to book, which, over the years, has saved and enriched many marriages--marriages that were headed to divorce court.
I'm only going to comment on the parts of her book that I agree with--things in any relationship that are important for it to be healthy, rewarding, long-lasting, and of course, happy. I'm not going to comment on the parts that advocate serving his every whim, turning all control over to him, submitting to every desire, and being an obedient servant...I mean wife.
Page 38: "Do you know that your personal happiness depends on the attitude you decide you will have?"
Page 50: "A man needs to be accepted as he is..." and "I need to feel accepted, too."
Page 58: "...respect, honor, esteem, adore, praise, enjoy, and admire."
Skipping over the sex part. Not going to comment on "sexual intercourse every night of the week," or "spray your sheets with sweet cologne," or the part about greeting him at the door naked and wrapped in Saran wrap or pink baby-doll outfits and fuzzy boots or the part about having sex pretending to be "a pixie or a pirate, a cowgirl or a show girl." Nope! Not going there. Everyone knows that sex in important in a marriage.
Page 133: "A woman expresses her love by words and expects words in return. A man expresses his love by actions... ." And "Understanding the one you live with and love with gives such freedom." And "A husband and wife must communicate if they hope to understand each other. There is no greater feeling than knowing you are understood."
Page 134: "Be a good listener."
Page 136: "Don't criticize or put him down." Of course, that's a two-way street.
Page 138: "Be sensitive to his moods." Ditto on what I said above.
Page 139: "Be interested in his interests." This is good as long as it's not disingenuous and short-lived.
Page 142: "Before you speak, think the problem through and put it into its proper perspective. An angry outburst can scar your husband's emotions and create barriers between you."
It's important to note that Marabel Morgan is writing this book for women. It's instructions on how to keep your man happy so he won't stray and do the nasty-nasty with the bimbo at the office. She also has a chapter or two on how to raise well-adjusted and happy children.
A note here: Mrs. Morgan wrote this book from the perspective of an upper-middle-class housewife with a responsible and hard-working and caring husband. She lived in a world that was disconnected from so many other American households. She talks about "the office" as if every husband goes off to the office in a suit and tie and is tempted by pretty, seductive secretaries. What about the men who are slackers, men who don't hold up their end of the responsibility? What then...Marble...I mean Marabel?
My fiancé, who was a Christian man with high morals and "good intentions" wanted to provide me with a manual on how to be his perfect little sweet princess wife.
I can only thank Ms. Morgan, because if it had not been for The Total Woman (I could never, ever be that woman, by the way) I would have married the wrong man. It took several attempts at love--I had to realize that I didn't need rescuing; I am a smart, independent, capable woman. I eventually got it right. I have won the "Best Mate Lotto." Life is wonderful and, thank goodness, I don't have to wear that pirate outfit any more.
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